But it led to an interesting discussion and one which is very appropriate for the group as a whole.
We were discussing various problems we'd encountered; she had a history of abuse from a very young age. It seemed like she had triumphed against horrific odds, becoming the happy and well-adjusted woman she is today.
Sometimes when people are asked, "how did you possibly get through all that?" we hear the answer, "you just do. You do what you have to."
But in reality, not everyone does get through a challenging life unscathed. Some people tune out. Some people suicide. Some drink or use drugs. Some people "check out" of life, never accomplishing much - even though they are still living.
So I asked my compadre, "Why do you think you made it through?" Clearly, others in her dysfunctional family hadn't fared as well.
"There were little bits of grace: grains of grace," she said. "There would be the right person to help when I needed help. And I made it through."
I would submit that we have all experienced grains of grace: talking with the right person at the right minute, maybe finding the book we needed to read. Perhaps an art exhibit or a symphony performance allowed us to see the expansive universe beyond our own distressing sphere - just enough to give us enough hope to get us to the next level.
We'll be talking about this a bit more.
Take care; we're all in this together.
Linda Gromko, MD
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