Week 13: Naming the Demons Before We Exorcise Them

As usual, we had an animated session last week. Our challenge was to give examples of "demons" that prevent people from maintaining a healthy weight. Here's a short list - see if any apply to you:

• A personal history of sexual assault
• A personal history of parental neglect
• Stress
• Fear of failure
• Dealing - or rather, not dealing - with gender dysphoria ("If I'm heavy, I can't transition")
• Need for comfort
• Shame - never feeling good enough
• never a good enough mother
• never a good enough parther
• never fit enough
• never consistent enough
• never committed enough
• never thin enough
• Criticism and judgment
• Fear of being personally rejected ("It's easier to be rejected because I'm heavy than to be rejected because of who I am.")
• Low self esteem
• Depression
• Having been truly hungry as a child
• Having been bullied/taunted when younger
• Loss of friends, family, partner from any means
• Addiction - personal or in family of origin
• Frustration with the pace of desired change
• Resentment of other people who appear to have it better.

One commonality among demons is that we feel the need to be protected from them - to be insulated from the pain they cause. Sometimes, that protection - in the form of food - served us well for a while.

A young woman in literal danger of sexual assault might think she'd be less at risk if overweight. And perhaps her overweight really did serve her at one time - just not now.

A transgender teen might see transitioning to the correct gender as being impossible. Extra weight might protect him/her from "going there," - a process which seems so difficult as to be just a dream. Later, the extra weight doesn't serve, and the gender issues remain.

We also discussed the way food itself can become a demon. Always everywhere, food beacons. It's there at every celebration, every lonely moment. It's our addiction, our requirement, our ever-present reward. But this "demon" is necessary for us to live - provided the demon is managed. 

We also discussed that food is manufactured in such a way as to be purpsefully addictive, i.e., laden with carbohydrates and refined sugar that keeps us coming back for more - even when we don't even want it!

In tomorrow's group, we'll be inviting some of our demons to leave!
Should be interesting.

Remember, we're all in this together.
Linda Gromko, MD