Week 6: We Resent Having to Worry About Weight, but...

Sometimes, it feels like we do everything right. We don't smoke, we don't drink to excess. There's no heroine in our collective bloodstream. We vote, we pay our bills, we get to work on time and we do our work effectively. Some of us even floss.

Yet, we don't have the luxury of eating casually. We eat with consequences: guilt, feeling deprived, suffering health problems that come with being too heavy. We have anything BUT a casual relationship with food!

This highlighted a sense of resentment for one of our members. She was very clear: it wasn't a resentment of the people who seem to eat anything they want. More, it was a resentment of the "fate" of having to be so vigilant.

And even though she has lost a significant amount of weight, the work doesn't seem to balance out the benefits - at least not yet.

We asked if there might be a parallel somewhere else in her life where she had had to really work, to sacrifice, to make things right.


And sadly, an abusive childhood had led her straight into therapy for many years! Now that she's dealt with this ("it is what it is"), she does great with life in general, though she will have an occasional mental health tune-up (therapy session) when she feels the need. Resentment about this issue doesn't occupy much mindshare.

The point is, she's come to terms with facts that weren't the way she wanted them to be - but has found ways to maintain stellar mental well-being. She's done her work and knows what she needs to do for self-care.

This seems like an excellent example of running the bases: she approached her childhood issues with 1) attitude and intention, 2) habits and behaviors, and 3) self-nurturing. And she keeps on running - modifying her self-care behaviors as needed - and not allowing her background to interfere with a full and happy life.

My hope is that someday we'll see our weight issues as manageable - just like this mental health issue has been managed. Not with resentment (which would be understandable), but with practical self-knowledge of just what it is that we need to do to stay on track.

Next week's exercise - which we haven't discussed yet - is:
"If your best friend were exactly in your situation, what would you do to demonstrate your support?"

We're all in this together.
Linda Gromko, MD
www.LindaGromkoMD.com